What's up
I don't really know what to share here.
I actually have a lot thing to write but I don't know
I don't feels like want to share
Most of time, when I kinda blank, dunno what to write
I will upload a random picture 
and write something about it.

I'm really complicated and I know it
I know people don't get it
I know people can't understand it
I know people can't stand it
I know 
But I also know I can't do anything about it 
That's me
(Should I say sorry ._.)

Yes, I have too many feelings when I'm depressed.
Its like every feelings came at the same time
and kick and punch and cut my head off
and I just like staring at them 
and doing nothing.

I can act like I'm happy when I with my family or my friends or strangers
Like I have this switch in my brain
I just switch it on to make people think that I'm really happy.
I have nothing wrong in my life, not a problem, not anything bad
Just so perfect.
I don't want others think I'm not okay
because its takes forever to tell them that why I'm not okay
What I feels, what I did 
Bla bla bla

This is what happened between me and my ex.
I hide every emotion in my heart and it become my truly habit
But the problems is
hope my ex understand me
Understand my silence
I hope they understand by looking at me and try to read me
But the best about not telling others what you say is 
Its will become your secret forever.
I thought that way.

I read Hlovate's novel.
All of his novel except Anthem because I feels so bored reading them
So I just not read it
I'm sorry for that
And I love this novel so much (in the picture)
Contengan Jalangan.
It makes me almost mad because its perfect
The best thing about this novel is no love.
Its 100% focus on the main characters and all of them is a man.
Its make me truly happy

This is so freaking deep.
Deeper than an ocean.

No wtf I'm a 10

This is for you, guys

 I think its for me
You're welcome

I just maybe wanna share my scar.
I don't want this to be an issue for others to think that I used this picture 
to make someone sad or depressed or I'm an attention seeker or something
Hell no 
I don't need an attention.
If you want to judge, go for it.
I don't mind.
By the way, I scanned it for fun.
Yep, its really fun. 
I scanned almost everything.
My cats, my face and everything.

Okei, that's all.

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  1. your story remind me about my ex. your character, kinda similar to him. anyway, looks like you have lots of problem and you're in the state of depression. i know that i shouldn't mind your business and may not understand what you've been through. i just want to say that, all problems that come to you don't come for no reason. lie down your body, take a deep breath, close your eyes and try reflect back yourself. insha allah, that would help you in finding solution. best of luck.


The Mad man Army